New residents mingle with “old timers” at a social event to welcome those who recently moved into our community.
Deciding when to move to senior living is tricky. There is no right answer, as everyone’s situation is different.
Frequently, we hear “I can afford to move now, but it’s expensive, and I don’t really need it yet.”
The challenge comes with defining “need” and “yet.”
Defining “yet”
In our experience, people rarely say they moved too soon. Much more frequently, we hear the opposite. “Why did I wait so long?” or “If only I had known, I would have done this sooner,” are phrases our residents tell us all the time. (And, not incidentally, our residents’ family members share this sentiment.)
Shirley (second from left) enjoys a meal with her husband and friends at Bruceville Point.
“I really didn’t want to come. I was against it, but I knew my husband was ready for it. After the third day, I thought, ‘This place is great!’” – Shirley, resident of Bruceville Point
“Don’t wait for a catastrophe,” Meg Cortez, the Community Relations Director at Bruceville Point, cautions. “That’s not a time you want to make big decisions. Plus, in many situations, you’re no longer the one making the decision.” By waiting for it to be a need, older adults risk losing their autonomy. In crises, a doctor or adult child may be forced to make decisions on one’s behalf.
When moving becomes a necessity, it’s a little like trying to look up directions while you are driving. There is no time to discuss plans thoughtfully. Instead of asking, “What do I want the next several years to look like?” you’re stuck asking, “Where can I go tomorrow?”
Between managing medical appointments, dealing with insurance, picking up prescriptions, and all the other tasks that need handling, it’s difficult to find the time to really research the best options.
Defining “need”
Defining “need” can be tricky. Is it simply a roof over our heads, food, and water? Or are social connections, finding meaning and purpose, or staying mobile needs?
We suggest that people think about moving for the lifestyle. As Emily Beckwith, Bruceville Point’s Resident Services Director, says, “A move should enlarge your world.” Moving should help you stay active and mobile, should enrich your social connections, offer you avenues for finding purpose and meaning, and keep you mentally and intellectually engaged. If your world seems to be shrinking, it may be the right time to explore a different living option.
Barbara (right, in maroon vest) is out and about town, enjoying a meal with friends at a local restaurant.
Barbara knew she wanted to be around people. When her children decided to move across the country, she began looking for her next home. Little did she know it would allow her freedom to live life on her terms and challenge her to try new things. “I’ve gone places I never would have gone. I’ve tried foods I never would have tried,” Barbara says of her time living at Bruceville Point. Barbara’s world is bigger—and richer—for having moved to the community.
Instead of thinking about needs, think about what is working well in your current situation, and what areas you’d like to change. Craft your future lifestyle—it’s just as relevant now as it was when you graduated from high school or changed careers.
Susan (right), always a big fan of people and parties, celebrates Fourth of July in style at Bruceville Point.
“I had just remodeled my kitchen and I realized, I was tired of eating alone,” Susan, a resident at Bruceville Point shared. “I didn’t need a new kitchen, I needed people!” Susan sold her beautifully remodeled home, went on a cruise, and moved into Bruceville Point—all within a month. She loves the fact that she gets to have fun now, dining with her friends every night. “How many women get that?” she asks.
While there is no one-size-fits-all answer to determining when to move, doctors and experts are unanimous in urging people to talk about what they’d like their future to look like and consider possible changes sooner rather than later.
Accepting the Gift
Many senior living communities are a gift—to both the residents and their families. As Shirley mentioned, it’s wonderful to not worry about cleaning. Barbara is grateful for her new friends and the abundance of choices she has each day. Mentioning live music every Friday and every-other Tuesday, Susan asks, “Where else can you get that? I think my experience is extraordinary. I’m very lucky here.”
And each resident knows that by living at Bruceville Point, surrounded by people who care, they are also giving a gift to their children. Their kids are not worried about dropping off groceries, making sure parents are getting to their appointments, or getting the socialization that makes life worth living. Children get to be children again, visiting to hear about the latest adventure, and relaxing over a shared meal with someone else doing the dishes.
The best gifts don’t fill a need. They offer an opportunity.
For more information about the engaged lifestyle at Bruceville Point, download our Just the Facts: Independent Living Guide. Or stop in and see for yourself!
