Rediscovering the Joy of Community
I received an email advertisement today with the subject line: “Cancel your plans.” The email went on to claim, “Staying in is the new going out.”
As an introvert, I was almost excited to read this message. What could be better on a dark winter night than cozying up to the fire with a cup of tea and a good book in a quiet house?
I tempered my excitement, though, having just read an article about how our society has drifted toward isolation over the last century. Automobiles allowed us to live further apart, television allowed us to be entertained in the privacy of our homes, and technology in the last 25 years has accelerated those trends at warp speed. Many of us can live, work, and play within the same four walls of our homes. Alone.
Humans are social creatures. We need other people for survival. Beyond survival, we flourish because of our interactions and relationships with others. When Maslow developed his hierarchy of needs in 1954, love and belonging were just after physiological needs and safety and security, foundational for a meaningful and satisfying life. Former Surgeon General Vivek Murthy put it even more starkly: “Social connection is a fundamental human need, as essential to survival as food, water, and shelter.”
Last month, I spent a few days at Bruceville Point. It reminded me of the value of living in a community. My days began with a visit from a friend over coffee. We lingered, discussing the impact of music on our lives, sharing concerts we had attended and how those experiences moved us.
Celebrating joy in the little connections each day, like lingering for conversation after a meal.
I joined an exercise class, where the front mirror showed us moving as one large organism. To the beat of Michael Jackson, we stretched. Studies have shown that synchronized movement forms and strengthens group bonds.
Exercise classes were jam-packed with fun and movement with others.
As a Wordle fan, I typically spend a few minutes each day solving the puzzle on my phone. At Bruceville Point, this solitary activity was shared on the large screen in the Bistro. A group of us worked together to solve the daily Wordle puzzle (and a few more similar puzzles). Not only was it more fun to celebrate the “win” with others, but I also learned more about other people’s strategies, which made me think more deeply about how I play.
And what could be more human than gathering to share a meal? Food, often acquired collectively, brings us together more significantly than perhaps any other group activity. I don’t know if we need studies to prove this fact. Most religious traditions involve sharing a meal at the center of their rituals. For those who may doubt, a 2017 Oxford study revealed that the more frequently people dined together, the happier they reported feeling. Other studies have indicated that having regular family meal times is one of the most significant predictors of successful child development.
Gathering to share a meal or snack makes the ordinary feel special.
At Bruceville Point, the dining room would fill up beginning at 4 pm. People gathered at tables large and small to share a meal in groups and collectively. Sometimes, family members joined parents; often, friends sat together. Along the periphery of the dining room, couples shared conversations. After a busy day of activity, the evening meal was a time to relax and enjoy the company of others.
Throughout my days at Bruceville Point, I rarely saw a cell phone. People were engaged together: visiting, sitting, moving, eating, observing. No one spent all day in constant conversation, but many people joined group programs multiple times daily. The desire to be with others was palpable. And from this shared life, I learned a lot.
I learned about the lives of others. I learned about their joys and sorrows. I learned about creative arts, such as quilting and weaving. I learned about music and travel and careers. Most importantly, I learned the joy of being with other humans, of sharing parts of our days together.
While the email tempts me to put on pajamas and lounge by the fire, I know I will be happier if I make an effort to be with other people. Call a friend, invite someone to visit, go out to dinner. In this age of isolation, finding community takes more energy. But like most things worth doing, the return is much greater than the investment.
Looking for connection? Give us a call to stop by for lunch or join us for happy hour!
Learn more about the programs that bring people together at Bruceville Point in our Signature Programs Guide.
